Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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