i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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