He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
