so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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