I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
