dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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