The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
