I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
