ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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