Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
