cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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