shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
