Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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