We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
