We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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