porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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