what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
