like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
As shirtless as possible
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
