was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
