he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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