Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
