I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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