she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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