i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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