Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
