I can't breathe out the right side of my face
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
