I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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