Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize