Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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