How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
