How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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