the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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