I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
