no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
