Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
