and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
high people should be assigned attendants
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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