My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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