He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
