He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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