I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
