Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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