i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
