It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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