Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
