you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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