May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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