I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
