remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
