So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
