I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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