Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
