An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
