we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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