I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
