you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
