The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
