if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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