flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
